Posted in: Real Talk from Recovery | Written by: Bob
You don’t need confetti. You don’t need applause. You just want to be seen.
And if you’re in recovery...especially from something that warped you from the inside out...you know exactly what that means.
You get clean. You do the work. You claw your way through hell. And somehow, you're still treated like a walking relapse timer.
“I'm just worried, checking on you...”
I get it. I do. I caused damage. I disappeared behind bottles and told everyone I was fine. Now I’m back, rebuilding — honest, raw, present — and still feel invisible.
The Hard Truths That Slapped Me Awake
- You might be clean, but your people are still bracing for the explosion.
- You’re trying to earn trust with logic. They’re still bleeding emotionally.
- You’ve changed, but they only remember how you left.
Sometimes they love you and still treat you like a problem.
Sometimes they’re still trying to read a version of you that no longer exists.
The Metaphor That Hit Me
“Recovery is like trying to rewrite your life on a ripped-up, bloodstained page you’ve barely managed to tape together. And yeah — maybe some of the lines are still unreadable. But the ones that remain? They’re worth reading.”
That includes *you.*
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
- You’re allowed to be proud of your survival, even if no one throws a party.
- You’re allowed to feel hurt by the silence. That doesn’t make you selfish.
- You can love someone and still feel emotionally starved.
- You can want to be seen without needing to be worshiped.
- You’re not broken. You’re just healing where they stopped looking.
Final Thought
If no one told you today: I see you.
You’re doing better than you think. You’re allowed to be mad, hurt, proud, tired, craving, glowing — all of it.
If you’re holding yourself together with tape, spit, and one good reason not to use again today? That’s enough. That’s survival.
Hard Truths from the Loop
⚠️ HARD TRUTH #1: You’re trying to earn trust with logic.
Recovery is emotional. Trust is emotional.
And you’re coming at it like a man who fixed the engine and now just wants someone to notice the car runs again.
But to her? That engine stranded her on the highway a hundred times.
You say: “I’m doing so good. I’m proud of myself.”
She hears: “You should be proud of me, too — why aren’t you?”
If she’s still scared or bitter or carrying years of quiet resentment… she shuts down.
You want credit. She wants proof over time. And that’s a brutal mismatch.
⚠️ HARD TRUTH #2: She might not have the emotional tools to meet you.
You’re asking for connection. She might not know how to give it. Maybe she never did. Maybe she learned to protect herself by attacking first.
You: “I feel alone. I fought through this.”
Her: “You made your bed.”
That isn’t partnership. That’s someone who learned to survive instead of communicate. And if she’s not doing her own work? You’ll always feel like you’re dragging a corpse of past mistakes behind you.
⚠️ HARD TRUTH #3: You can be clean and still not safe.
Hear this one carefully.
You’ve kicked kratom. Amazing. But are you consistent? Calm? Honest about your triggers? Are you still reactive? Passive-aggressive when hurt? Using defensiveness, sarcasm, silence?
Because even if you’re clean, you